For the past two days, the web has been all over the sudden disappearance of Gov. Sanford. Was he hiking The Appalachia? Was he dancing under the Moonbeams of the Summer Solstice? Was he nefariously conspiring with The Venezuelan Dictator? Nah:
To rehabilitate his political career and expiate all of his sins, he needs to enter into a crash course in Gardel, as in Carlos Gardel. Most of you have no idea who Carlos Gardel was, but close to 80 years after his death he is still the voice and soul of Argentina – Resting place of his paramorious desires. Whether you are aware of him or not, even in Middle America you have certainly heard him sing at one time or another. He still is THAT big.
He should first start by singing Cuesta Abajo (Downward Slope):
Queue in the Sultry Seductress (at 0:34)
After doing the self-flagellation circuit, and groveling to the American public for forgiveness, he could then change his tune. Volver (To Return):
… If Carlos Gardel seems a bit dated, how about putting Penélope Cruz to good use. She certainly can put a new face to this old song.
We all know how important it is for Republicans to *er* court the Hispanic vote. Finally, in Gov. Sanford the party has found a leader who truly loves Latins (well, at least one, that we know of).
With Volver as his 2012 Presidential Campaign Theme Song, he could certainly